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Articles
How to Overcome Social
Anxiety and Perfectionism at Work:
Build Confidence, Reduce
Stress, and End Insomnia
6
Steps to Speaking without Social Anxiety: How to
Become a Confident Public Speaker
How to Overcome
Social Anxiety and Perfectionism at Work:
Build Confidence, Reduce Stress, and End Insomnia
By Dr. Larina Kase
Does This Sound
Familiar?
A business executive
named Bob had a hidden problem at work. He became
nervous when he interacted with colleagues and performed
various tasks. While he didn’t have an anxiety disorder,
he frequently worried about his work performance.
Because Bob was grateful
for his position, he was afraid of failure—he didn’t
want to disappoint. Time management and self-esteem
suffered because he frequently got caught up in details
and ended up behind in his work.
Bob experienced social
anxiety and the fear of public speaking, especially
about giving presentations in front of his boss. While
he spoke, his primary anxiety symptom was a racing
heart. And he lacked assurance in his communication
skills. Small talk and socializing made him
uncomfortable.
How to Overcome
Anxiety at Work
Do you experience fears
like Bob’s that sap your confidence and hinder your
career development? Do you procrastinate, worry about
being a leader or doing a great job, dread giving
presentations, or have insomnia from time to time?
If you experience any of
these types of concerns, I’ll tell you some of the ways
I helped Bob that can help you too.
First, I asked Bob, “What
are you doing to ensure that you don’t fail?”
Sounds like a weird
question, doesn’t it? But, you see, most people who
worry end up doing things to make their fear more
likely to happen! Such was the case with Bob.
Bob told me that he
worked extremely hard—often until 9pm or later, and
triple-checked his work to make sure that everything was
just right. Sometimes he put things off if he didn’t
feel he had sufficient time to do them extremely well. I
told Bob that he was experiencing perfectionism, a
common source of workplace distress and time management
problems.
To cure his
perfectionism, we had him do things less perfectly. I
told him, “try to complete projects at only 90% instead
of the 120% you’ve been doing.” He was wasting 30%
effort for very low returns. When he purposefully worked
faster and focused less on details, the quality of his
work actually sky-rocketed. Nobody noticed the decrease
in “perfect-ness” of his work, instead people noticed
that he had more energy and accomplished more. He used
the freed up time to be with family and go to the gym,
which further helped him feel relaxed and happy.
Second, we focused on his
fear of public speaking. In reality, Bob was a sociable
and interesting man and a great speaker. Why was he
uncomfortable? Bob held rigid rules about what was
proper to discuss and when. He questioned whether his
statements were appropriate. If he asked about a
coworker’s holidays, he feared being too personal. If he
discussed the weather, he thought it was too mundane. Of
course, this continuous evaluation increased his
discomfort.
The same process occurred
when he gave presentations. He wondered what everyone
was thinking, whether he was boring people, and if he
was saying things just right.
I asked Bob to speak
naturally without censoring his thoughts. I recommended
that he focus on the significance of his message while
presenting, not on the details of how he was delivering
it. When he made these subtle changes, he came across
very well.
Increase Your
Confidence and Work Performance
If you experience worry
at work like Bob did, rest assured, it does not
necessarily mean that you have an anxiety disorder.
There are things you can do to boost your confidence.
Identify the thought
patterns that keep the worries around and challenge
those thoughts. (“How do I know it is true that I’m a
‘bad’ speaker?”). Do not avoid what makes you
nervous—instead get as much experience as possible. If
you’re afraid of failing, push yourself to try anyway.
Remember, you do not need to let nerves control you, you
can control them and find greater success and enjoyment
in your work.
Larina Kase, PsyD, MBA
is a business coach to entrepreneurs and executives, and
author of Anxious 9 to 5: How to Beat Worry, Stop
Second Guessing Yourself, and Work with Confidence.
Find her tips in media like The New York Times and
Entrepreneur Magazine. For tips of reducing anxiety at
work visit:
http://anxietyatwork.blogspot.com/
6 Steps to Speaking without Social
Anxiety:
How to Become a Confident Public Speaker
By Dr. Larina Kase
Would you
rather scrub your bathroom floor than get up and speak
in front of people?
If so,
you’re not alone. The fear of public speaking is the #1
fear in Americans, and affects people across the globe.
I’ve helped
hundreds of people build presentation skills and I’d
like to help you too. Here are six crucial steps to take
the stress out of public speaking.
Step #1:
Know Your Audience
When you
know your audience you can tailor the presentation to
benefit them. Learn about your audience by conducting a
brief email survey, interviewing audience members
beforehand, and asking the meeting planner questions.
Knowing your
audience will reduce performance anxiety because you’ll
feel a connection with them. You’ll know that you are
talking about interesting topics, which eliminates the
fear of boring them. They will participate and become
more engaged.
Step #2:
Select the Right Topic
You also
need to choose the right topic for YOU. Research shows
that the top three professional speaker characteristics
are the topic, speaker's enthusiasm, and knowledge.
You’ll achieve all three when you discuss something you
know, love, and can easily talk about.
If you’re
assigned a topic, you can:
-
Tie the
assigned topic to what you want to discuss.
-
Engage
your curiosity and become interested. If you are not
interested in the topic, no one else will be.
-
Smile
and gesture during your talk to convey interest.
-
Partner
up with someone and discuss only the parts you
enjoy.
Step #3:
Become Less Self-Conscious
Have you
noticed yourself mentally inventorying your hair,
posture, voice, outfit, and word choices?
These things
make you more self conscious and anxious. Instead focus
on something external and get your attention off of
yourself.
Some ways to
focus externally include: Pay attention to what others
are saying; Observe how the room looks; Get into the
feeling and passion behind what you’re saying.
Practice
focusing externally in other conversations and
situations so you can get good at it before your
presentation.
Step #4:
Get Physically and Mentally Ready Beforehand
If you are
someone who gets anxiety symptoms such as racing heart,
sweating, or shaking, get your body relaxed through
exercise.
To burn off
nervous energy and release muscle tension, get 30-45
minutes of cardiovascular exercise three hours before
your talk. Do some calming exercises like stretching,
deep breathing, and muscle relaxation 20-30 minutes
beforehand.
Get mentally
ready by imagining yourself delivering the presentation
exactly as you want. Picture yourself feeling great and
the audience reacting very well. A few minutes before
you start, focus your energy on the powerful image
you’ve created.
Step #5:
Conquer Your Fearful Thoughts
Figure out
exactly what you’re afraid of and then evaluate
the likelihood of the fear happening. If you’re afraid
of tripping, calculate how many times you’ve tripped in
the past or consider how you handled it if you did. It’s
probably not nearly as bad as you think.
A common
mistake is thinking that because you felt nervous, the
performance was horrible. How you felt is not the
best measure of how things actually went. Most people
say their talk went worse than audience members report.
Step #6:
Connect with Your Audience
We all know
what it is like to have someone speak at us.
Think of yourself as having a conversation with the
audience, just as you would during a one on one
conversation. Allow your personality to shine through.
Remember to
look at individuals for at least three seconds but not
longer than five or ten seconds or they’ll feel stared
down. Use animated facial expressions and do not hide
behind a lectern or other prop.
Practice
Your Way to Success
Now you have
the 6 steps: knowing your audience, picking your topic,
reducing self-consciousness, preparing effectively,
handling fearful thoughts, and connecting with the
audience. Put them to practice with as much public
speaking as possible and you’ll gain poise, polish, and
confidence.
Larina
Kase, PsyD, MBA is a business psychologist and the
author of Anxious 9 to 5. Her work on social
anxiety and career advancement is regularly featured in
media such as The New York Times and Inc. Magazine. Get
free articles, tips, book recommendations, and resources
at
http://www.pascoaching.com |